If your toddler is having intense meltdowns that seem to take over your entire day, I want you to know something:
These meltdowns can change.
I’ve worked with toddlers who had up to FOUR HOURS of meltdowns a day.
I’ve had clients whose parents stopped going out in public because of their child’s meltdowns.
I’ve had clients where it felt like every little thing could turn into a meltdown.
And I’ve had parents who felt like complete failures because they couldn’t figure out how to help their child.
I’ve seen a LOT.
And in my 20 years of working with children and families, I’ve never had a client with intense meltdowns that we couldn’t drastically reduce.
So how do we do it?
Why Your Toddler May Be Having So Many Meltdowns
Most parents I work with have already tried all the things: they’ve read the books; they’ve listened to the podcasts; they’ve followed the parenting accounts; they’ve tried all the strategies they’ve been told should work.
And yet they’re still dealing with a toddler who is having huge, disruptive meltdowns.
The problem usually isn’t that you need one more generic parenting strategy. You need to understand what is actually happening with YOUR child.
Because your child is an individual, and the reasons behind their behavior are individual too.
Why Generic Toddler Parenting Advice Doesn’t Always Work
There are endless articles and social media posts about how to handle toddler tantrums: stay calm, validate their feelings, offer choices, give warnings, hold the boundary, ignore the behavior, be consistent.
Many of these strategies can all be useful in the right situation.
But there isn’t one strategy that works for every toddler.
When you’re dealing with frequent or intense toddler meltdowns, you need to understand the specific pattern happening with your child.
That’s where individualized behavior support can make a difference.
I Ask A LOT of Questions
When I work with a family, I don’t just hear, “My toddler has terrible tantrums,” and hand you a list of things to try.
I want to know everything I can about what is happening: What happens before the meltdown? What happens during it? What happens afterward? What tends to trigger it? What does your child do? What do you do? What does your daily routine look like? What are the boundaries in your home? How do you respond when your child pushes back? What happens when you hold a boundary? What happens when you give in? What happens when you try to prevent the meltdown?
I ask SO many questions because I want to understand the entire pattern.
I want to be able to picture exactly what is happening as if I were there.
And I know what questions to ask because this is what I’ve spent 20 years doing. I’m not just some random person on the internet giving you parenting tips. I have extensive training and experience in behavior and working with families.
Once I understand what is actually happening, I can create strategies that are individualized to your child and your family.
And that’s a huge part of why this approach works.
What Helps With Intense Toddler Meltdowns?
There isn’t a magic trick for stopping toddler meltdowns.
The goal is to understand what is contributing to the behavior and then create an individualized plan for your child.
That might mean changing how you respond to certain behaviors. It might mean changing how boundaries are communicated. It might mean changing what happens before a predictable trigger. It might mean teaching your child a different way to communicate or respond.
And sometimes the strategy that makes the biggest difference is not the one you would have expected.
That’s why I don’t just hand every family the same parenting checklist.
Your child is not every child.
Your family is not every family.
Your intervention shouldn’t be either.
The Biggest Difference: Coaching Between Sessions
Even the best individualized plan isn’t much help if you’re left on your own to figure out how to implement it.
That’s why my coaching doesn’t end when our call ends.
We still have weekly or every-other-week calls, but between calls, you have ongoing voice and text support from me.
So let’s say your toddler has a massive meltdown on Tuesday.
You don’t have to wait until our next call a week or two later and try to remember everything that happened. You can tell me what happened while it’s still fresh. I can ask you questions. We can look at what happened before the meltdown, how you responded, what your child did, and what happened afterward.
And then we can make adjustments right away.
You get to try something, see what happens, and come back to me with what you experienced.
That means we’re not spending weeks continuing a strategy that isn’t working.
We can troubleshoot in real life, while you’re actually living it.
What Does Progress With Toddler Meltdowns Look Like?
When your toddler’s meltdowns are happening constantly, it can be hard to imagine your life looking different.
You may be walking on eggshells. You may be avoiding restaurants, stores, playdates, or family outings. You may be constantly trying to prevent the next meltdown. You may feel like every little request is going to turn into a huge battle.
And you may be wondering if this is just what life with your toddler is going to be like.
But I always see clients go from that place to feeling confident in how they handle their child’s behavior.
Parents who were afraid to leave the house start going places again. Parents who felt like every boundary would lead to an explosion learn how to set limits without everything falling apart. Parents who felt completely overwhelmed start understanding their child’s behavior and knowing what to do when things go sideways.
And all of my clients eventually stop or drastically reduce these intense, disruptive meltdowns.
Toddlers still tantrum. That’s normal.
They’re still toddlers. They still get frustrated. They still hear “no” and have big feelings.
But the intense meltdowns that are taking over your entire family’s life?
Those can change.
When Should You Get Help With Toddler Meltdowns?
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely desperate to get support.
It may be time to look for additional help if your toddler:
- Has very frequent or extremely intense meltdowns
- Has meltdowns that last a very long time
- Is hitting, biting, kicking, throwing, or running away
- Has meltdowns that make it difficult to leave the house
- Seems to have a meltdown over almost everything
- Has behavior that is significantly affecting the entire family
- Has you constantly walking on eggshells
- Has you questioning everything you’re doing as a parent
You don’t need another generic list of things to try.
You need someone who can look at what’s actually happening with your child, figure out why the behavior is happening, and help you make changes that fit your family.
That’s what I do.
Intense toddler meltdowns can change—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Frequently Asked Questions About Toddler Meltdowns
How do I stop my toddler from having so many meltdowns?
There isn’t one strategy that works for every toddler. The first step is understanding what is happening before, during, and after the meltdown and identifying the patterns surrounding the behavior. From there, individualized strategies can be developed.
Why does my toddler have meltdowns over everything?
When it feels like everything triggers a meltdown, there is usually a larger pattern worth looking at. Triggers, transitions, routines, communication, boundaries, expectations, and how adults respond to behavior can all be relevant.
Is it normal for toddler tantrums to last for hours?
Toddlers can have intense emotional reactions, but extremely long, frequent, or disruptive episodes are worth taking a closer look at—especially when they’re significantly affecting your child’s or family’s daily life.
Can intense toddler meltdowns really get better?
Yes. Intense and disruptive meltdowns can often be significantly reduced when the behavior patterns are carefully assessed and parents receive individualized strategies and ongoing support implementing them.
What if I’ve already tried everything?
That’s actually very common among the parents I work with. Many have already read the books, listened to podcasts, followed parenting accounts, and tried countless strategies. The goal isn’t to give you another generic list. It’s to figure out what is happening specifically with your child and determine what needs to change.
Toddler Parenting Coaching
I’ve been working with children and families for 20 years and have extensive training and experience in behavior.
My approach is different from generic online parenting advice because I work directly with you to understand your individual child and your family’s specific challenges.
My coaching includes regular one-on-one calls plus ongoing voice and text support between calls, so you have someone to help you troubleshoot real situations as they happen—not weeks later.
If you’re dealing with intense toddler meltdowns, frequent tantrums, aggression, rigidity, or behavior that is making everyday life feel incredibly difficult, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Toddlers tantrum. That’s normal. But the meltdowns that are taking over your entire family’s life? Those can change.
I offer a free initial consult to talk through your toddler’s behavior and determine if I’m the best for helping your family. There’s no risk and no pressure, just a potential solution (and if I’m not the right fit, I’m always happy to help you find the right fit).